Friday, June 13, 2014

I'm molting

I went to the pool 5 days ago and I don't believe in sunscreen.  My Israelite ancestors wandered the desert for 40 years and they didn't have no icky sunscreen.  I think I developed melanoma.

Anyway, I've spent the past few days peeling my shoulders and creating a giant skinmountain.  It's not that gross; it's exactly what it sounds like.  I dunno, maybe normal people think that's gross.  Fuck 'em, I don't need them! (I don't really mean that please stay)

Anyway I'm telling you this not just to claim credit for coining skinmountain (an up-and-coming neologism, I assure you) but also because I feel like my new epidermis is bringing a new person.  This new person is trying to eat healthier (are peanut butter and whole wheat Ritz healthy?  Really?  But they're whole wheat!), slightly less afraid of bugs, and might even start wearing sunscreen.  He doesn't want to commit to anything though, that much hasn't changed.

Anyway I need to find my phone and some friends because doing nothing on Friday night is being more of a loser than I'm prepared to admit to being.  Ciao

PS my short term goal for this blog is to become the #1 Google result for skinmountain.  Let's make it happen people, it's part of the plan to get famous.

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